It's exactly 30 days before our wedding. I can't believe I'm starting to count days already. I could hardly sleep at night. Tossing and turning in bed becomes a habbit. However, I found an effective way to lull myself to sleep. I pray "Hail Mary" and "Our Father" continously... just like counting sheep. Got the idea from Jose Mari Chan's song which goes... When you are worried and you can't sleep... just count your blessings.. instead of sheep.. then you'll fall asleep... counting your bles--sings... "

So what's buggin' me these days? Lotsa stuff... all big time and major problems. I've been stressed for the past few days at work and doing our preps. While talking with Dex the other night, I can't help myself but tears just keeps falling down my cheeks. Baket daw ako umiiyak? E bakit nga ba? My answer is simple - "I'm just tired".

I'll keep my story short. I have 2 major problems as of now.

First, our invites. Yes, it's not yet done. We were at my bro's place last night and made sure that we finish the layout. I'm quite happy with the result.. Sayang lang we didn't have enough time or else it'll look better kung embossed yun mga sulat. Another thing is, baka hindi na kayanin ng powers ng brother ko yun stickers. So I need to have a backup plan. Iniisip ko iprint nalang sa sticker paper. Sana magawa ko. Sabi ni bro, next week ready na raw invites namin. Crossing my fingers. We have exactly 3 weeks to distribute our invites. So to my friends who are wondering if they're invited or not, don't worry po.. invited kayo... wala palang yun invitation. HEHE...

Second, the band. In case you don't know, TSG is having problems right now. They're cancelling contracts for next year coz a lot of talents have left the group. I was assured by Ian that our contract is secure. I've been hearing not so good feedbacks about their recent performances. As much as I feel sad for Ian and Kate, I'm not sure if I can fully trust them. I've had a terribly hard time dealing with them for preproduction, so I don't really know if saving the full payment is worth the stress I will be facing in the next few weeks. Much worst on the wedding day itself. I have already started to scout for alternative bands. Dex and my bro both agree na we should just get a new band. In fact, I just came back from a wedding (gatecrashed again hehe) at Manila Penn. I was invited to watch this band whose performing for the wedding at the ballroom. Di ko muna sabihin kung anong band ha. Pag sure na lilipat na kami I'll reveal the truth. So far, I'm happy dealing with the contact person. And they're so versatile. Although a bit pricey than TSG, feel ko ok na rin. I just hope TSG will return our payment to us (although malabo pa yun kasi Ian is really broke now). I don't want to think about the money muna... I just want to have peace of mind and be able to sleep well without worrying if certain supplier will go wrong on D day.

There's another supplier I'm not quite happy about. I won't spill the name nalang kasi baka nagtatampo lang ako as of now. Let's just say I'm disappointed coz I was expecting more from that supplier. I'm not sure what my suppliers think about me... but I'm certainly sure I've been nice and far less demanding than usual brides. It just saddens me na I'm not getting enough attention from my supplier"s". Is it because I don't make kulit? One month away from the wedding, I think it's just about right if I make follow-ups. Sabi ni Dex sobrang bait ko raw kasi sa kanila. This time he wants me to be a bitch! hihi.. mahirap yata .. di ko kaya. Anyways, I'm not going to make mukmok for long nalang coz I know everybody's busy during the holiday seasons. Marami ang weddings not to mention may sari-sarili rin silang buhay. Sige, mag Merry Christmas muna tayong lahat... sa January nalang ulit mag-ngaragan. :D

Before I go, I just want to share my happiness with you all. My yaya for 20 years is now with us again. She's going to attend our wedding kasi kaya I asked her to come to Manila early. Thank God for the invention of cellphones... nakakatext ko na siya kahit papano. I so miss her!!! It's been 10 years since she left us for good. I'm so happy to finally see her again. Second mother ko na sya... In fact, she knows more of my secrets than my mom. Haay... super wish ko sana she'll always stay in Manila nalang... hehe (which is impossible kasi may pamilya din siya sa province). Here's a picture we took last weekend... I'm so so so happy talaga... beyond words ang aking tuwa... :)

Labels: blabs, matters of the heart, wedding